Saturday, January 03, 2009

Home.......

"When you go home it always looks the same, smells the same and feels the same. You realize that what's changed is you." -- I came across this poignant thought in the movie "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". There are many wonderful situations, circumstances and people that I am sure you'll connect with on an emotional level in this movie.

About home, I always feel exactly like this when I go back home - everything is exactly where it was when I left. Sure, a few things have been moved around, some things have been added and some are missing but there all mostly there and where they've always been. Yet, I feel different - an eerie feeling of being a stranger in your own home. When I used to live there, my immediate habitat had an air of my individuality. Ever since I flew the coup, even though most of the things I left behind are still there I find the essence of my past habitation and the warmth of the comfort I had in my immediate surroundings missing. Every corner of the house, every thing in the house down to the towels and sheets evoke memories of my past. But even though I sleep in the same bed that I slept in for 22 years and use sheets and pillows that I recognize from 6 years ago, I essentially live out of a suitcase (symbolic of a guy just passing through) and don't spend enough time in the house (and in the country) to make it all my own again. And this, in my opinion, makes me feel strangely unfamiliar in my own home and why my past visits have not left me with memories that evoke the same emotional response as pillows and sheets from 6 years ago - I just don't have the time to make it all my own again, to stamp my individuality on the ways of the house.

And yes, I will always call it home. It is, as they say, where the heart is.

2 comments:

Tejaswi said...

:)

Good stuff.

-T

EmperorFrost said...

Tayzwi, I didn't think anyone was reading my senseless doodles.

Thanks for stopping by :-)